Why do they do it?

Sunday, April 03, 2005

Changed

Everyone is talking,
But never straight to me.
I always feel alone,
That’s not how it’s supposed to be.

I guess it’s all my fault,
I was never quite the same.
If I only changed a little,
Maybe I wouldn’t feel so ashamed.

If I changed a bit,
Would I then fit in?
If I changed myself,
Would I be a someone then?

This loneliness is killing me,
Slowly every day.
If I changed some more,
Could I make that go away?

I have never felt this bad,
Not in all my time.
Feeling this way,
Should be a crime.

I don’t know what to do,
I don’t know what to say.
I guess if I was different,
More people would turn my way.

Ready

I’m ready to give up,
I gonna lose the fight.
Never gonna win,
Don’t know why I might.

Depressed all day,
Crying all night.
I’m surrounded by the dark,
There is no more light.

I’m all alone now,
Even when I’m not.
My world has changed drastically,
I’ve been through a lot.

Can’t stand to lose a fight,
But it happened any way.
I can’t stand the loneliness,
I’ll just have to go away.

With no light to save me,
And the dark coming fast.
I know it won’t be long now,
I know that I just won’t last.

So stop the fight,
I call it quits.
I know I am someone,
No one will miss.

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

For Once

For once, my blood doesn’t run cold when school is in. For once, I enjoy the company. For once, I smile when I here my name in the hallways. For once, my heart doesn’t pick up it’s pace from fear but from joy. For once, I have a reason to welcome the new day. Because, for once, I have you. For once, I have the love from your eyes, and the happiness from your grin. For once, I have the warmth from your embrace to calm me, and the hope in your kiss that keeps me sane. For once, I’m enjoying my life a day at a time. For once, I know that someone really care for the real me. For once, I feel sure that I’ll always have someone who’ll listen. For once, I have someone who loves me in return. For once, there is someone who will stand up for me. For once, I have a single thought that will bring an instant smile to my face. For once, I know that I’ll never be alone again. Because, for once, I have you.
This is dedicated to the love in my life: Greg (sshh...don't tell anyone!)
P.S. This is the only POSITIVE poem that I'm planning on writing so don't get your hopes up.

Monday, February 14, 2005

Why, Sorrow

EVERYTHING FALLING APART, NOTHING AS IT WAS. NO ONE TO CATCH MY TEARS, NO ONE TO SHARE MY FEARS. ANGER IN MY HEART, SADNESS IN MY SOUL. DEPRESSION ALL AROUND ME, AND EVERYONE HERE IS COLD. COMFUSION IS MY FRIEND, LONELYNESS MY MATE. EMPTY IS A FEELING, THAT I’VE COME TO HATE. CHANGE IS NOT MY FRIEND, BUT IS THE ONLY THING THAT STAYS THE SAME. WHILE EVERYONE NEAR ME STARTS THERE FAST PACED CHANGE. WHY AM I SO DIFFERENT? WHY CAN’T I MOVE AHEAD? WHY IS IT THAT I’M THE ONLY ONE WHO HEARS A THING I’VE SAID? I HATE CHANGE BUT ITS FORCED ON TO ME, FOR EVERYTIME I TRY TO HAVE SOME DECENT COMPANY. PROMISES ARE EMPTY, AND LOVE IS A HEART’S PAIN. EACH IN TURN ARE RISKY, EACH ARE RESISTENT TO CHANGE. FOR IF I LIVED ON BROKEN PROMISES, AND PAIN THAT IRKS THE HEART, I’D LIVE A LIFE OF SORROW THAT WOULD NEVER FALL APART. SO WHY DO PEOPLE WONDER, WHEN I ALWAYS TURN AWAY? BECAUSE THE PEOPLE WHOSE BACKS FACED ME, IT WAS ALWAYS THEY.

Friday, December 17, 2004

Dark

I can’t make it,
There’s nothing left of me.
I’m lost in this world,
As a nobody.

It’s quiet here,
Dark and alone.
I can’t help but feel,
I’ll always be on my own.

I’m lost in the dark,
Screaming at my tear.
I hate this place,
I’m all alone here.

The dark is closing in now,
Suffocating me more and more.
I’m stuck in this tiny room,
Where I can never find the door.

The dark is never-ending,
Here there is no up or down.
It’s a never-ending ocean,’
Of which I will drown.

I yell at the darkness,
But it just laughs at me.
It seems to be saying,
That it is here I’ll always be.

Tuesday, December 14, 2004

Old

Everyday I see young people,
Who always have old souls.
Their hopes and dreams were shattered,
Their hearts had a million holes.

Everyday I see old friends,
Who never were really there.
Their love and happiness false,
Their lies were never fair.

Everyday I see old grudges,
That haunt me day and night.
The anger and sadness that they hold,
All amount to a tremendous height.

Everyday I see old memories,
Float behind their eyes.
All that pain and heartache,
And all of those spoken lies.

Everyday I see old promises,
That will never be.
While all the happiness that is there,
The future they will soon see.

Everyday I see young people,
Who always have old souls.
Their hopes and dreams were shattered,
Their hearts were all big holes.

Friday, November 19, 2004

Hate

I found out that I hated a person today,
That I never knew I could hate.
Once I really liked him,
Well, I guess that’s fate.

He said some things that were mean,
And some awful things that stung.
That was it for me,
To know that I was hung.

He used to say he liked me,
Complimented me everyday.
Now he barely takes a glance,
When I walk across his way.

The things he said were wrong,
They struck me in the heart.
When I had heard what he said,
I nearly fell apart.

I don’t know what I did,
If I did anything at all.
But now the gate around my heart,
Has turned into a brick wall.

Well, what’s done is done,
It was all up to fate.
To turn all that I feel,
Into a raw, strong hate.

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

Feel

There are to many words,
To tell you how I feel.
I don’t know what to say,
To show you that I am real.

There are to many emotions,
Running through my head.
I must say what I feel,
Everything must be said.

There are to many heartaches,
From my scattered past.
I can’t possibly tell you,
That I feel this won’t last.

There are to many shadows,
Reaching from behind.
It’s hard for me to believe,
That anyone can be kind.

There are to many disasters,
Just waiting down the way.
I wish I could just turn around,
And make them turn away.

There are to many feelings,
For one young girl to know.
And to many ways to get hurt,
If any feelings show.

Why hide your feelings?

Why is it that people always hide their feelings from one another? I believe that keeping your feelings bunched up inside will just cause an emotional breakdown later on. Well, I don't know about you but, I DO NOT like breaking down. I myself have had some embarassing times where I had been penting up my feelings and I just blew up one day at school. It had taken three weeks for people to leave me alone for that one. I've asked around as to why people hide everything from one another and the most popular reason was, "I didn't want to hurt their feelings" or "I was afraid of what they'd think of me." Well, I have something to say to those people, hiding your felings doesn't help you or anyone else. Those of you afraid to say what's on your mind are cowards, and those of you afraid to hurt someone else with what you have to say need to get real. The world doesn't revolve around your opinions and feelings and time will go on if you speak your mind to someone else. Any comments on this would be great. I love people who speak their minds and aren't afraid to tell what they are really feeling.